How to Find Intended Parents in NY or NJ

Once you have determined that you would like to become a surrogate, finding intended parents who are a good match for you is critical. It is important to be sure that you and the intended parents like and trust one another and that you would be comfortable working together towards a shared goal.

While some women decide to become surrogates to help a family member or friend achieve their dream of having children, you may need some assistance if you are a surrogate looking for intended parents. In this situation, there are two paths available to you: You may choose to find intended parents on your own, or you may choose to work with an “agency” or company (called a “matching program”) which provides surrogate-intended-parent matching services. While the path you choose will be up to you, you need to be aware of the responsibilities and realities of each option before deciding how to move forward.

The law firm of Rumbold & Seidelman can advise you regarding your options so you can make an informed decision. When you are ready to begin that step, you can contact us at 888-962-3001.

Finding Intended Parents through a Matching Program (or “Agency”)

Companies which assist potential surrogates and intended parents to find one another are often called “agencies” but, because they are not regulated by the state, they are more appropriately called “matching programs.”

Surrogacy matching programs help find intended parents for surrogate mothers by matching people based on their  goals and preferences and by ensuring that the parties are comfortable with one another before solidifying the match. Certain surrogacy programs work within a particular region while others work across the United States.

Surrogates that work with matching programs to find intended parents  receive the agency’s services free of cost. The  matching program typically conducts an initial screen of the prospective surrogate to ensure that she understands the surrogacy process and that she is prepared for it. The program should also evaluate her personal preferences regarding the type of intended parents she would be comfortable working with. After the initial screen is complete, the matching program sets out to connect her with a family matching her preferences. All services are paid for by the intended parents and never by the surrogate.

Because surrogacy contracts are now  , and there is no legal restriction on surrogates working with matching programs, a prospective New Jersey surrogate may use the services of a matching program to help her find appropriate intended parents. Remember, even if you choose to work with a matching program, the attorneys at Rumbold & Seidelman are still able to guide you through the legal aspects of your surrogacy journey.

Surrogacy agreements are currently unenforceable in New York, and surrogacy matching programs are prohibited from receiving a fee for providing services in connection with a compensated surrogacy agreement. Although attorneys like those at Rumbold & Seidelman are working to change the current restrictions in New York law, New York surrogates may not work with surrogacy matching programs at this time.

Finding Intended Parents on Your Own

Women considering becoming surrogates in New York will need to identify intended parents by means other than a matching program. As mentioned above, surrogacy agreements are currently unenforceable in New York, and surrogacy matching programs are prohibited from receiving a fee for providing services in connection with a compensated surrogacy agreement.

Women who wish to be a surrogate in New Jersey always have the right to find intended parents on their own, as well. A prospective surrogate residing in New Jersey may choose to search for intended parents on her own because this will provide her with greater control over the process. At the same time, however, the prospective surrogate must be prepared to take on the added responsibility that would involve.

A prospective surrogate may wonder how to find intended parents in New York or New Jersey independently. There are resources you can use to locate intended parents including the internet, print ads posted by intended parents, social media matching groups, and networking with family and friends. A surrogate taking this route may find it will take her longer to identify appropriate intended parents, especially those that hold the same preferences and goals as she does for the journey ahead.

A surrogate looking for intended parents can request the assistance of the surrogacy attorneys at Rumbold & Seidelman to guide her through her search consistent with state legal restrictions. It’s important to understand that, without the assistance of a surrogacy professional to verify the identity and intentions of the prospective intended parent, finding intended parents on your own comes with the risk of scam, fraud and misrepresentation. Even if you successfully find intended parents yourself, you should contact a surrogacy professional for screening and assessment before moving forward. The law firm of Rumbold & Seidelman can help to guide you through those steps in the process. Feel free to contact us at 888-962-3001.

Contact Our Law Firm After You Find Intended Parents

Once you have identified intended parents, our lawyers can help advise and guide you through the legal aspects of the process by drafting a gestational carrier agreement or memorandum of understanding between you and the intended parents. These legal documents lay out each party’s expectations and responsibilities moving forward and they ensure that everyone is on the same page with regard to this life-changing journey. Every surrogate and intended parent must work with a surrogacy attorney to complete a safe surrogacy in New York or New Jersey.

To start drafting your legal contract, please contact our attorneys at 888-962-3001 or online today.

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  • Bronxville, NY 10708
  • Tel: 914-779-1050


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