Placing a Baby for Adoption in NY & NJ: How We Can Help

Facing an unplanned pregnancy and deciding what to do can be one of the most difficult situations a woman confronts. If you are considering giving your baby up for adoption in New York or New Jersey, you are entitled to be represented by an attorney who will provide you with the support you require.

We are privileged to have assisted many parents to make loving and secure adoption plans for their children.

Because placing your baby up for adoption is likely to be a difficult emotional process, we strive to make this process as easy as possible.

Before deciding on an adoption plan, you need to understand your legal rights and consider all of your options. Because we believe that an in-person meeting is the best way to accomplish that, we will drive to meet with you in person. During that meeting we will answer all of your questions, ask you about any challenges you are confronting and refer you to resources to address your needs.

We have many years of experience assisting people in both the independent and agency adoption process. We can assist you to make a secure plan for you and your child that takes into consideration your emotional, medical and financial needs.

Because we have been working in the area of adoption for a long time, we know how important it is for us to create a strong, personal relationship with you. This will allow us to understand your situation and help us to address your needs. You will not be charged for our time, whether or not you decide to place your baby for adoption.

If you wish to more fully inform yourself regarding the legal aspects of the domestic adoption process, please feel free to call us on our toll-free number at 914-770-1050 or email us at info@adoptionlawny.com.

What Does Giving My Child Up for Adoption Mean?

Placing a baby for adoption in New York or New Jersey may not be what you think it is. In the past, adoption for newborn babies was a closed, secretive affair — but that’s not the way it is today.

Today you get to make the decisions which you feel are best for you and your child. You have the right to select the adoptive family and, if you like, you can meet the family before making a commitment to them. You also get to decide whether you would like to have ongoing contact with your child and the adoptive family after the adoption is complete. In addition, if you choose to place your newborn for adoption, you will not have to pay any of the expenses related to your adoption plan. Rumbold & Seidelman will not charge you a fee for our legal services because all legal fees, uncovered medical expenses, counseling and legally allowable living expenses will be paid by the adoptive family. You’ll have our support, and we strive to always be available to you when you need us.

Giving a baby up for adoption in New York or New Jersey allows you to make a loving and secure plan for your child if your circumstances make it hard, or impossible, for you to parent a newborn. It should be comforting for you to know that the families seeking to adopt go through a very strict legal screening process. This process includes an extensive background investigation and a close inspection of the adoptive parent’s home by a home study agency or licensed social worker. During the home study process the adoptive parents must prove that they have the financial and emotional resources to provide a loving home for a child. You can therefore feel confident that your child will grow up with a family that is able to provide him or her with the love and stability they need and deserve. Despite what you may think, choosing adoption for your baby is not “giving up”; rather it’s being strong, brave and selfless enough to make the best choice for your child when you know that you are not in a position to parent.

There are many reasons someone may be considering adoption in NY or NJ. It may be that they are not yet ready to become a parent or that having a child at this point in their life will require them to defer or abandon other important educational or life goals. Many people also choose adoption because they have other children and lack the resources to parent another child.

In the end, choosing to give your infant up for adoption is a decision that you’ll need to make for yourself. We will never pressure you in your decision. As your attorneys, our job is to provide you with the legal advice and emotional resources you need to help you decide what is right for you and your child. Before placing your infant for adoption in New York or New Jersey you need to be 100 percent confident in your decision. We have the experience, expertise and compassion to guide you through that very important decision.

How Do I Put My Child Up for Adoption in NY or NJ?

How to put a child up for adoption in New York or New Jersey varies depending on the state where you and the adoptive parents live as well as your personal circumstances. In general, the adoption process looks like this:

1. Decide whether adoption is right for you.

This is not a choice that’s made overnight, and that’s completely okay. We can provide you with information about placing your baby up for adoption and what that will mean for you. We can answer your questions, including any possible concerns you may have regarding the birth father and whether his participation in your adoption plan will be legally required. We can also provide you with a referral to an adoption counselor who can help you decide whether adoption is the best choice for you and your child.

2. Create an adoption plan.

Once you make the decision to place your baby for adoption, you have the option of choosing to place your baby either through an adoption agency or through a private placement adoption with the guidance of an attorney. We can explain what you need to know about each option and provide you with the legal guidance you need to complete either type of adoption.

3. Find an adoptive family.

As members of the Academy of Adoption and Assisted Reproduction Attorneys, we can refer you to resources throughout the country in order to help you find a family for your child. We believe it’s our job to help you think about the criteria which are important to you in your adoption plan. These factors may include: the race of the adoptive family, their religion, the distance they live from your home, their marital status, whether you wish to place with a couple or a single parent, whether the family has other children, and whether you wish to have a personal relationship with the family after the adoption is finalized. Since every person making an adoption plan has unique goals and values, our job is to make sure you understand your options and to help you find the family that fulfills your dreams for your child.

Before selecting the adoptive family, you will likely have the opportunity to communicate with them directly, either by phone or through the internet. Depending on practical considerations – such as where the adoptive parents live – it may be possible for you to meet with the adoptive parents prior to making a decision. You will likely find that choosing the right adoptive parents for your child is the most important decision you make in the adoption process.

4. Prepare for your hospital stay.

After you have selected an adoptive family for your unborn child, we will help you to think through your hospital plan. Keep in mind that if you place your child for adoption you will not be responsible to pay your pregnancy-related medical expenses — so you don’t need to worry about that. In creating your hospital plan, we will ask you to decide who you would like to be in the delivery room, who you would like to hold the baby first after birth, the kind of contact you would like to have with the baby during your hospital stay and how much contact you would like the adoptive parents to have with the baby during that time.

5. Complete the legal consent process.

After the baby is born, but typically before the baby is discharged from the hospital, you will be asked to sign the adoption consent forms. Once the consent documents are signed, the baby can go home from the hospital with the adoptive family.

6. Utilize post-placement services.

After the baby is in the custody of the adoptive parents, we are still available to assist you if you need our help. We are happy to facilitate post-placement communication between you and the adoptive family, and we can also provide you with resources for the emotional support you may need after the placement. Regardless of how good you feel about your adoption plan, it’s important to recognize that adoption is a choice that will affect you for the rest of your life. For that reason, we will remain available to you even after the legal process is complete.

How can Rumbold & Seidelman Help Me Place My Child for Adoption?

Whether you’re still thinking about adoption or ready to start the adoption process, you can contact us at any time for no charge and with no obligation. We respect the process you’re going through, and you will be under no pressure to choose adoption if you decide that’s not the best option.

If you choose to work with us on your adoption plan, we will provide you with all the adoption services you need, including:

Emotional support when you’re considering adoption, throughout the adoption process and after the adoption is complete
Creating an adoption plan that’s best for you
Helping you find an adoptive family that fits your preferences, whether they’re a family in New York, New Jersey or another state
Determining your adoption-related expenses and helping you to find a family legally permitted to meet your pregnancy-related financial needs
Facilitating the relationship between you and the adoptive family during the adoption process and after it’s complete

We have been working in the field of adoption since 1996. We encourage you to reach out to us at any time by calling 914-779-1050, emailing info@adoptionlawny.com or contacting us online.

FAQ

How do I select an attorney?

Make certain that the attorney you select has experience in the specific type of adoption you wish to pursue.

There are significant differences between the laws governing the adoption of children from public social service agencies (especially children in foster care) and the adoption of children from private agencies or through an independent adoption. Similarly, there are dramatic differences in the laws regulating private placement and agency adoptions. It is essential that your attorney has experience in the specific type of adoption you are considering.

Adoption attorneys typically travel to the home of families considering the option of placing an expected child for adoption, especially if meeting at the attorney’s office would present a hardship to the family. After the initial consultation, ongoing communication is either by telephone or e-mail. Because there are so few attorneys specializing in the field of adoption, most adoption attorneys practice in a wide geographic area.

How can I be assured that the attorney has the required experience?

There is a national organization of adoption attorneys, The Academy of Adoption and Assisted Reproduction Attorneys (AAAA), that provides an on-line directory of attorneys throughout the United States. Since any attorney admitted to the AAAA was invited to join only after demonstrating that they have extensive adoption related experience, you can be certain that any AAAA attorney you select will be knowledgeable in the field. Your local bar association may also be able to provide you with the names of attorneys experienced in the field of adoption.

How do I make the choice between experienced adoption attorneys?

This is primarily a question of the attorney’s personality, adoption philosophy, and office structure. As long as you are working with an experienced adoption attorney, the legal aspects of the adoption should be handled professionally and within the bounds of the law. The personal and emotional aspects of your adoption experience will vary significantly based upon your choice of attorney. Law firms differ in terms of the size of the practice, the number of staff, the accessibility of the attorney to the clients, the legal fees and costs, the attorney’s adoption philosophy, and the inter-personal skills of the attorney.

How do I select a family if I place my child without the involvement of an agency?

In a private placement adoption, the expectant parents search for and select the adoptive parents with whom they wish to place their child for adoption. Persons seeking to make an adoption plan can identify potential adoptive parents with the assistance of their attorney, by searching on the internet or by reading adoption ads placed in the classified section of your local newspaper. A list of websites hosting adoptive parents’ profiles is set forth in the resource section of this web site. Depending on your circumstances, you may also wish to speak to your treating physician, close family or friends or, if you can do so comfortably, you may wish to confide in respected members of your religious or school community, to see if they are aware of a suitable adoptive family. Whatever avenue you pursue, it is important for you to feel secure that the person in whom you are confiding will appreciate the sensitivity of this matter and will respect your privacy and your need to be in control of your choices.

What information can I receive regarding potential adoptive parents to help me decide if they are the right family for my child?

Most potential adoptive parents will be glad to provide you with a letter and/or a brochure which contains information regarding their family and lifestyle. Whether you identify a family privately or through an agency, it is likely that you will have the opportunity to communicate directly with the adoptive parents either by phone or through the internet. In many cases, depending on practical considerations such as timing and challenges relating to geographic location, it may be possible for you to meet personally with the adoptive parents you are considering.

What support services can I receive if I wish to place my child privately?

You have the right to be represented by an attorney whose professional loyalty is to you rather than to the adoptive parents. Because many parents considering adoption do not have the financial resources to pay for an attorney, that expense is typically paid by the prospective adoptive parents. Once you have retained the services of an attorney, your attorney should advise you regarding your options for your child and guide you through all aspects of the adoption process. In addition, persons considering adoption are strongly advised to obtain adoption related supported counseling. An experienced counselor can help you evaluate whether adoption is the best option for you and your child. If you choose to pursue an adoption plan, counseling can help ease the emotional burden of your decision. The cost of adoption related counseling is another expense typically paid by the adoptive parents unless you already have coverage through either Medicaid or private insurance.

How do I select a family if I am working with an adoption agency?

What is involved in an agency adoption?

The agency has caseworkers who will work with you to obtain basic background information, advise you regarding your legal options (in some cases they may refer you to an attorney) and who can provide you with supportive counseling. After the baby is born, if you still wish to place your child for adoption, you sign a legal document in which you surrender your parental rights to the agency. After the surrender document is signed, the agency places the child in the physical custody of the adoptive parents. The agency retains legal custody of the child until the adoptive parents obtain a court Order of Adoption.

Is it possible for me to have contact with my child after I place him/her for adoption?

Although adoptive parents and birth parents do not always learn identifying information (e.g. last name and address) about one another there are a growing number of adoptions where identifying information is disclosed between birth and adoptive parents. If the adoptive parents and birth parents do not wish to disclose identifying information, letters and pictures can still be exchanged through the agency or the attorneys involved in the adoption. It is also increasingly common for adoptive parents and birth parents to communicate directly by e-mail while still preserving their confidentiality.

Most adoption professionals feel strongly that any decision regarding post placement contact must be sufficiently flexible to take the child’s emotional needs into consideration. It is our experience that birth parents vary widely in their desire for such contact. Some birth parents do not wish to maintain contact because they want to put the adoption process behind them. Others want post placement contact limited to letters and pictures so that they can be assured that the child is thriving in the adoptive home. There are also many birth parents and adoptive parents who believe that post placement in-person contact provides many benefits to the adoptive child. Prior to arriving at a decision on this important issue, birth parents and adoptive parents should reflect deeply on their options with the primary emphasis being on the best interest of the child.